Taunt
by Gettles
Summary: She was going to drive him insane. Hitsugaya was sure of it.


I'm sure you all know this. None of the characters or places in this belong to me.

Taunt

She is trying to drive me to insanity. It this point, I no longer had any doubt of that fact. Matsumoto Rangiku is attempting to drive me, Hitsugaya Toushirou completely and totally insane. Even worse, so far her plan is working to perfection.

I try to glance down at my work again, the weekly status report for 10th Division. A basic outline of all division Shinigamis out in the human world as well as the numbers of Hollows killed by them, it's nothing major, just needed to keep track of at what rate Hollows are coming in. and what area do they seem to be entering into the most commonly at this time. Unfortunately for me, today I just can't seem to focus on the paperwork. And it's all my Vice Captain's fault.

For her to fall asleep on the couch in my office is nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, for her to have spent the whole day doing normal work and going about business would have raised more of an eyebrow than what she is doing now. And that is what makes me believe that her plot (I refuse to accept the notion that it is purely coincidence) all the more devious. Normally, I am greeted to my lazy Lieutenant dozing face down on my furniture curled slightly into a loose ball. Not today.

Definitely not today.

Today she sleeps on her back, her hips slightly towards me creating a position that I would have never figured to be possible, much less comfortable. One of her arms is draped across her stomach while the other hangs off the edge of the seat, her hand touching the floor. But, none of this is my problem. It's those _things_ hanging from her that have been slowly driving me towards madness for the better part of the day now.

Normally, I am able to keep myself in check during the day. Despite her best efforts to use her natural assets to shake me, I have (thankfully) been able to keep my self in control. Yet this time, something is different. I again look up from the paperwork that I should have finished hours ago to stare at her. Every instinct I have tells me not to, but I once again find my self glancing at those two mountains, barely concealed her open robe.

For the fifteenth time today, I find myself wondering how she manages to keep those things from falling out. Does she use some sort of adhesive or is it some form of her Shiki that I was not aware of.

Why did she decide today to fall asleep on her back? And why can't a captain of all people stop himself from ogling his subordinate while she sleeps?

For a moment, I think she starts to move and I quickly face my desk trying to get my mind to focus again on the state of 10th Division instead of the position of my Vice-Captain. I was able to get a little bit done before something in the back of my mind, that prior to this day I wasn't even aware of reminded me of two facts, the first being that she hadn't made a noise in a while and thus was still asleep. The second; _they were bigger than my head_.

I was hoping that I could just return to work and not my Vice-Captain. Really, I did. But I found my eyes once again drifting towards Matsumoto. I hated my self for the fact as I should be much more controlled than doing something so low. Apparently, the mixture of hormones in my system is mightier than even a captain and my eyes again focused on the gigantic rack of my underling.

I can tell you, it is a very strange feeling to be simultaneously praying for her robe to keep in place, while also trying to will gravity to do its job and give me an unobstructed view of her.

It is also far from one of my proudest moments. Eventually I was able to will myself to go back to the latest inter-company transfers for a moment before she had the chance to wake up. As of right now, this whole episode was merely my own personal embarrassment. Should I be caught staring at her, I would never be able to live it down, I know it.

I can already hear her taunts that would come up every time I saw her (which would be every day unless I some how managed to make her a Captain). She of course would bring it up at the next meeting of the Female Shinigami Association from which Yachiro of 11th (the only person in all of Seireitei who travels faster than the speed of rumor) would make sure all of Soul Society knew that Hitsugaya was a pervert.

And that would only be the beginning of the problems.

I don't even want to imagine what would come afterwards. The chewing out by Soi Fong, is a given. As would getting "the talk" from Kyouraku (who for some reason has taken it upon himself to act as some sort of "father figure" to me, I have no idea why). Plus I would get to look foreword to all manner of questions from almost everyone in 11th company, whose behavior was comparable to a Dockworkers Union at its best.

And, I'd never be able to look Momo in the face again if I was a known pervert.

Once again, I found my eyeballs taking quick glances at the blonde on my couch, this time I forced my eyes shut trying to bring my minds eye to stop from conjuring up much worse images in relateation for depriving myself of another look at Matsumoto. I wished I could simply leave, but I was already in a situation that standing up in public with my pride intact was impossible.

Why did she feel the need to do this to me? How did I wrong her that this form of mental torture was justified? I asked myself, before slamming my head into the desk.

Note: Well, this was just a stupid idea that I felt the need to show to the public (I'm not sure why). Well, I would like to know what you thought of it, good or bad I really don't care. Just would like to know how I could improve so please review.

Thank you for your time.


End file.
